


perfection in non-nothingness through imperfection

by angels0lament



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Some philosophy, au - they're like two years older, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:34:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24652396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angels0lament/pseuds/angels0lament
Summary: He moved the cup one centimeter to the right. "Is this better?" he asked, placing a finger on his chin - a habit he was never going to give up.[...]Ren took a step back. "I think," he pondered, mimicking his partner's stance, "that it's fine." Despite his words, he looked slightly unconvinced; his eyes squinted at the objects, and lips were into a thin line.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	perfection in non-nothingness through imperfection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [luckiecharms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckiecharms/gifts).



> i wrote this for a friend's bday!! happy bday ren ily!!!!! 
> 
> this is also the first fic i publish (not really, actually, but it's a long story :'D). please be kind to me (or don't, idk)!

He moved the cup one centimeter to the right. "Is this better?" he asked, placing a finger on his chin - a habit he was never going to give up.

The wall of shelves adorned with various trinkets stared blankly at the two boys, as if asking for further developments. There were mostly souvenirs and plants on them, as well as the newest addition: a ceramic coffee cup, bought from an antique store just a few hours ago. If the quote "Menace to Society'' wasn't plastered on it, Ren might have not picked it up at all. "It would be perfect for our apartment," he had said, and it took nothing but that and his adorable, almost pleading smile for Goro to acquiesce to the raven's request. It wasn't that expensive, either.

Ren took a step back. "I think," he pondered, mimicking his partner's stance, "that it's fine." Despite his words, he looked slightly unconvinced; his eyes squinted at the objects, and lips were into a thin line.

"Does it really matter?" Goro questioned, growing tired by the second.

His boyfriend shot him a look that spoke of hurt and offense. "Yes!" he exclaimed. It sounded like a question, rather. "It's not symmetrical."

"Is it not?"

"It's not."

A look of disbelief. The brunet could have sworn with every fiber of his being that it was in perfect harmony with the other objects on the shelves, but, then again, his eyesight wasn't really the best; perhaps the lenses he wore were faulty.

He took one step back, and tried to match his perspective with the raven's. Ren put an arm around his waist - to better adjust his view, surely - and pulled himself a little closer to the brunet.

"I still can't see it," Goro stated, after a full couple minutes of observing and analysing the cup in relation to its neighbours. "You must have an exceptionally good sight and visual sensibility to see a difference, and to have it bother you," he mused absent-mindedly, still trying to comprehend the landscape that unfolded before him.

The brunet counted the objects on each shelf, committed them to memory and made mental images of how they would look in a different sequence or position - no dice.

"Still, I don't quite get why you're so keen on attaining 'perfection' through something so mundane such as the placement of this particular cup. Has it ever occured to you that what you're trying to achieve is, ultimately, impossible?" He spoke with great firmness, his words calculated and cynical, but his tongue never got tied, teeth never had clenched around letters.

"I don't believe that," Ren leaned closer towards Goro.

He raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

The raven eased on his feet. He made a balanced motion once, and pointed with a lazy finger towards the cup. "It's already perfect."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well, you see, detective," he started oh so comically, as if he had undertaken the role of a comedian in front of a willing audience, as if he was putting on a show, "it does not exist. Perfection, as a man-made concept, does not exist. Or it exists, but only in nothingness, since it doesn't possess any being that could be perceived as imperfect. But can't nothingness be found in everything? In non-nothingness?"

Wind whispered through the folded window and shy bells sung in corners, filling in the silence that laid comfortably between the two. The perfect interlude, that of non-nothingness, to the boys' discussion- their philosophy, or analysis rather.

The quiet murmur of paws resounded through the wood parchment covered room, announcing the arrival of a certain feline; his animal instincts dictated that he shall pay no mind to the debate currently developing in that same room. The cat stretched, and hopped onto the bed.

"Isn't that contradictory, in a way?" Goro inquired, the discussion having captured his attention, as opposed to the horrible cup. "That a concept exists where nothing is."

"Then it shall be contradictory," Ren countered nonchalantly. "There are other concepts that contradict each other, but still coexist."

"Your concept is contradictory in of itself, however." Goro, although he could understand the meaning behind his partner's words, the inner workings of his mind, he still could not agree to his theory. It lacked substance, for one. 

"Then let me reiterate-"

"Guys, sushi dude's here."

Their focus snapped and turned to the cat that had unlawfully entered and desecrated the sanctity of newly bought furniture, especially the bed, since it was recently cleaned. What a slanderous little creature. Ren had to let go of Goro's waist to turn around towards where the cat was, then hurriedly marched in his direction to remove him from the sheets. 

Morgana made a displeased sound as he was carried away and placed on the floor, where his sinful paws couldn't begrime the bed any longer. 

"I told you not to get on any furniture, you dirty little man of a creature," Ren scolded the cat. "It's still new and we'd like to keep it nice and tidy, at least for a few days, ugh," he groaned. 

Goro had a sudden epiphany; he kept it hidden behind a fond smile, for the first couple seconds, but couldn't simply ignore the ammunition he had just won for a reproach. "Didn't take you for the perfectionist kind, Ren." His sly smile was audible in his words, but they were only met with a disappointed look.

"Did our previous conversation mean nothing to you?" he complained, putting on a faux pout. 

"No matter how you coax it, you're still gonna be a perfectionist at the end of the day," Morgana purred in agreement to the brunet.

"Silence, feline. You have no rights, for your mind does not even possess the capacity to comprehend the meaning behind my-"

"Sushi guy is still waiting, by the way," the cat reminded him.

An eye roll. "Not even letting me be dramatic until the end. Can't have shit in Tokyo."

Goro watched in silence and chuckled at Ren's display of tragism. He was already used to the raven's playful, although cryptic nature, and that only added to his attraction and love towards him - they were pretty similar in that regard, after all, even though Goro was still in the process of getting comfortable in his own skin. 

Years of living as someone else, a time which he spent crafting an image and a reputation that would ultimately turn into a weapon twisted his mind, his self-expression to the point where it was almost nonexistent - not a trace of personality, none that was his own. 

But now, being able to finally loosen up and craft the long awaited personality, it felt… strange. And new. And very different and out of his comfort zone. 

He never thought he'd live to see the day where he could just… live. As himself. For himself.

"Hey," a voice called from in front of him. "Are you ok? You were spacing out." It was Ren, and he was awfully close to Goro's face. His eyes gleamed in the absence of his glasses, seas of grey and silver pulling him in and out, as if he was stuck on a ship during a storm; their beauty being the siren's song, and his sight the poor sailors who fell victims to her charm.

Goro blinked once, twice. He had to process the information a little before giving a proper reply. "Yeah, I… I'm fine." 

Ren leaned in closer, until their lips were touching, but he stopped just at the last second, capturing the brunet's fiery russets in his stelly onyxes, creating a whole world from a split of a moment. "Can I?" he asked softly, a voice that would shake Goro down to his core. 

He gulped once, trying to swallow the knot that had formed in his throat. "Yes," he whispered back, breathlessly so. 

Their lips touched, their kiss sweet and tender, and it only lasted for a few seconds. Goro could taste the coffee on Ren's mouth and smell the subtle cologne he used- it stung a little, and it had a peculiar refreshing smell, something akin to mint. It was a different smell, not the condiments and spices he was so used to and comfortable with. 

"Really, are you ok?" the raven asked again with concern seeping out of his tone and sharp eyes turned mellow.

Goro took a long, careful look at him. "Yeah… Yeah, I'm good. You should go get the sushi; I'll clean up that table so we can eat there."

Ren nodded with a hum and exited the room.

The coffee cup lay forgotten on the shelves, still looking like an absolute eyesore… well, it did certainly fulfill its role as the "Menace to Society", or to Ren, rather. Goro glared at it with ill intent.

Crows do hold grudges, and long ones at that.

"Sheesh, you're gonna shatter that cup with your stare," Morgana commented as he licked his fur clean.

"Say, Mona, is it symmetrical?" He placed a hand on his hip and shot the cat a very sharp look.

He hummed thoughtfully for a while, tilting his head left and right, squinting and widening his eyes. "It is."

"It certainly is, yes."

The two had a moment of agreement and shared a nod with it.

Ren entered the room with two plastic bags and set them on the table which Goro had cleaned up recently; one of them contained the two partners' portion, and the other Morgana's share. Living with two gourmets was sure to thin the raven's wallet - well, they were both paying for all their purchases; that was nothing more than a mere figure of speech.

They ate in silence, mostly. Pieces of conversation were scattered in between bites of sushi, and laughter sometimes bubbled at the chance of a joke. Slowly, but surely, the plates of food disappeared and Goro had undertaken the tedious job of cleaning after. Morgana took some plastic wrappers and carried them in his little mouth to the nearest trash bin. Of course, Ren did his part too, of throwing any other things that needed throwing - they all fulfilled their part around this household.

Goro dried his hands on a towel and hurried back into the room where the cat and his boyfriend were. The small creature had already fallen asleep, what with a full belly and tired eyes, and thankfully he wasn't anywhere near the new furniture, but on a rug- better than the former, at least.

"Do you really think we can manage?" he asked.

"Manage?" Ren echoed his words, intrigued.

"I meant that as in… you and me. Living together."

The raven slowly made his way closer to the brunet. There was worry brewing under his eyes, thin eyebrows pulled into a small frown beneath dark curls. 

He placed a careful hand on Goro's shoulder. "Why wouldn't we manage?"

"I don't know. I don't know why I asked that." He tried to shake it off, to pass it off as a Freudian slip, but the unrest in his tone, and the way he struggled to keep his eyes focused in one spot spoke of other intentions. 

"It's ok, you can tell me what's on your mind," the raven reassured.

They both sat down on the bed.

"After twenty years of living, this is the first time I have managed to let someone in- that someone being you. It's a dubious feeling. As if it shouldn't even be there in the first place."

Ren took the brunet's hand into his. "Why, because you've been told you don't deserve it? Deserve someone like me?"

"Not someone like you; *you* yourself."

"That doesn't matter."

He tightened his hold on Ren's hand. 

"You're saying that it doesn't matter who I'm with, as long as…"

"As long as you're happy and content, yes. Of course, I would be a bit sad, but you matter more." 

"Ever the selfless person," he frowned. "But I want to be with you. For as long as I can; as long as you'll have me." His features looked forced and his shoulders were stiff; Ren leaned on his side to calm him down, at least a little.

"Me too. Then again, why wouldn't it work out?"

"...Perhaps my doubts are misplaced."

"Hey, look at me." He pulled the brunet and locked his eyes with his. "You can worry and have doubts. It's in your nature; the human nature. I can't expect you to loosen up so fast after all you've been through, but just know that this is why I'm here. Why *you're* here."

Goro felt a smile pull at the corners of his lips. "Thank you. I guess. And sorry."

"Don't be. You're not the only 'deranged' one; I have my fair share of troubles too, but that's why we're together," yet again, Ren reassured. He was quite the master at soothing and comforting people; a skill he honed during his probation and put into practice for the years to come.

A particular object captivated his attention, though. 

"Huh, it was symmetrical after all."

A detail, an experience, a misplaced object. A source, for many doubts and inquiries - all at the hand of a wrong perception, cognition twisted by an overthinking mind. Clouded by false concepts such as perfection.

Like a needle piercing through a skull, knowledge disturbing the natural and contorting the divinity of the natural. 

And the "Menace to Society", where "menace" was actually misspelled as "mencae". 

Perfection in non-nothingness through imperfection.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading <333 my twt is @angels0lament if u want to scream at me :)


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